freefalling

The power of Praise...

2011-09-10T20:05:00.000+05:30

" About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening to them. ²⁶ Suddenly there was such a violent earthquake that the foundations of the prison were shaken. At once all the prison doors flew open, and everyone’s chains came loose."

-Acts 16:25

No matter how difficult things might seem, Praise the Lord at all times!! There is no situation too difficult for the Lord to turn around!!!

You might not feel like praising Him...thinking 'How do I give Him praise when I am going through such tough times'. But even a feeble 'Thank You God' can bring a smile on His face and He will use the situation you are in to bless you!!!

His ways are amazing, beyond our imagination. We just need to have faith in Him.He knows what we go through but cannot explain everything when we want to know them. But rest assured He'll never put you through something you cannot handle!

Try it out...Praise Him ;) :)

Oh my words could not tell ..not even in part...Of the debt of love that is owed by this thankful heart!

2011-08-20T02:16:00.000+05:30

I stood there and held on to Him tightly. I was nothing but dust in the wind.But He blessed me. He never let go...
It has been tough all this while but He never left my side. Never failed me...He has never failed me.

All Praise be to Him who is worthy.

PS: Got promoted :D

Thought of you

2011-05-21T03:46:00.000+05:30

I am completely in love with today's Google Doodle. It is animated by Ryan Woodward and it is so so so good!!

The above video is an animation again by Ryan and its just beautiful! The song is 'And the world spins madly on' by Weepies.

I need Happy Landings!

2011-05-21T02:57:00.006+05:30

With me, it is ironic how planes fascinate me and scare me too! Ever since I was a little kid, I loved watching airplanes. Every time a plane passed fast across the skies I'd run towards the window to have a look at it. I also remember me and my then best friend waving goodbye to planes.

I'd love to look at the smoke trail left by jet planes in the sky! At first I used to think it was a rocket! (what?! Dont they show how rockets leave behind a jet of smoke during take-off??!).I think my fascination for 'air borne vehicles' and space related things inspired me to become a pilot, an astronaut and an astronomer!!

Don't you think its cool when those fighter jets take off from aircraft carrier decks with a whooping speed!! And when you see those movies where pilots in their uniforms are walking out of their aircraft with their helmets in hand and with their aviators on?! I love that kind of stuff!
I just loved the whole idea of being an astronaut flying in space and enjoying the view of the earth from the vantage point !!

But as much as I have seen these space exploration shows and their likes on the Discovery channel, I have also seen air crash investigations!! And they've left me terrified. Although I am now a little used to it, I am still afraid of flying ! I mean if you are traveling in a bus and it breaks down in the middle of the road, you can get down and take another one. Ever imagined the same scenario with a plane?! Yikes!!

The worst part is, I get recurring dreams of plane crashes! I have woken up many times with a shudder after seeing planes crash around me in my dreams.They say when you keep getting the same dream repetitively, it means something, Well, I say in my case, I don't want to know what it means!!!

But I've had enough of those nightmares now! They are the ones responsible for my fear of flying!! Yesterday when a friend of mine wished me 'happy landing! ' before signing off, I realised how I actually..literally needed one!
After all the nightmares I've had so far I only hope to have happy landings in my dreams and otherwise too! :P

PS. Believe it or not...The last time I was flying home, I saw another tiny(it was at such a great distance from my plane) plane passing in the opposite direction.It was gleaming in the sun light and immediately caught my eye!! :)

Take Me Away Somewhere Far Away

2011-04-09T01:38:00.002+05:30

I have noticed that a post I wrote long time back 'Take me away somewhere far away' has got a lot of hits and people have been visiting my blog through google while searching for this Ad song.
I have no idea how this song has become so popular suddenly ! But anyway since someone requested me for this song. Here is the link where I downloaded it from.

Enjoy!

(PS. this continues to be one of my most favorite vodafone ads- the elevator commercial ♥ ♥ ♥... :))

It's about that moment in time that's forever gone "...

2011-04-09T01:20:00.000+05:30

It's the same place that I came back to 3 months back. It was the same place I am constantly fighting to go to every single day.This is the place where I have lived since I was born. Yet, as I sat near the window watching those roads lit by orange street lights there was an emptiness I couldn't define....

(Image courtesy)

"Raste na badle na badla jahan,
Phir kyon badalte kadam hain yahan"

(The roads are the same, the world is the same...so why have the footsteps changed?)

Life can move so fast sometimes that you wouldnt realise what you are leaving behind.And when you stop and turn around its all gone in a moment's time.

Shut up. Just shut up!

2011-04-06T00:14:00.000+05:30

I cannot stand eternal pessimists - people who are just negative about everything. They think that just because they could do nothing, others dont stand a chance to do the same either. I have no offence against people who do not have political views but I do object such people commenting on political causes, criticizing the people who take initiatives for the betterment of people and sit on their couches and pass statements like 'Is desh ke corruption ka kuch nai hoga'. (Nothing can do away the corruption in this nation)

No matter how much you try to prove your point and instill a hope in their minds they always win. Because you always fall short of words when they start to speak about the negatives points regarding an issue and there is no point raising your voice to convince them. It never works.

The worst part is when you have such people talking against the government, its policies and the people running the government in your own house!

All you can do is just shut up and hope that corruption and all the other stains against the government would one day be wiped clean(well at least to a great extent) and that would shut the mouths of those who do nothing but pass the buck and shrug off their own responsibilities.

I am not trying to defend the government babus here but I do believe if all have a little faith we can definitely make a change. And if we cannot get up and fight for the change at least we should not pull down others who are fighting for it!

He is what they call the extra ordinary !

2011-03-26T16:56:00.000+05:30

Have you watched Man vs Wild with Bear Grylls? If not, you should!! This man is crazy. He lives off food that no one can even think of eating. He eats fish's eyes because it has got fluids in it that are good for health, he sets up traps for animals, hunts them, cooks them and eats them. He drinks dirty water from among rocks and cacti!
He knows exactly the kind of stuff that is needed to keep a human alive in wild.

Be it swimming across rivers with icy chilled waters, building rafts out of logs, igniting fire out of wood with a knife, building a "tent" out of dried leaves,sleeping in gaps between large rocks or catching fish with hand made spear...he does it with such dexterity and does it so marvelously! One will start to think, what is this man made up of after all?!!

What I really dont understand is how the cameraman manages to shoot all of this while running with the camera in one hand and trying to shoot Bear Grylls' antiques. It must be so difficult to catch up with the man who's always on the move (he is so quick!) trying to get some extra ordinary feat done!

It looks really gross when you look at the things he eats! But He survives on that kind of stuff. Let alone surviving he crosses seas and climbs mountains by eating all that!

I wonder... does he not fear the fall from heights or the pain from all those wounds he might be getting on his expeditions??

One of his quotes goes like this "If you risk nothing you gain nothing"

In another quote he says ...
"The difference between ordinary and extra-ordinary is so often just simply that little word - extra. And for me, I had always grown up with the belief that if someone succeeds it is because they are brilliant or talented or just better than me… and the more of these words I heard the smaller I always felt! But the truth is often very different… and for me to learn that ordinary me can achieve something extra-ordinary by giving that little bit extra, when everyone else gives up, meant the world to me and I really clung to it…"
— Bear Grylls"

Not many people take such risks in life!

Hats off to Bear Grylls!

Check him out here...http://beargrylls.com/

feels like I am freeee falling!!!

2011-03-07T23:45:00.000+05:30

I dont know what tomorrow will bring!....I dont know where I'd be! I dont know how many of my dreams will come true.I know nothing at all!!!

All I know is I am loving this moment!! I am high on life...high on music!!! Feels like I am freeeeeeee falling!!! :D :D :D

The step that separates victory from failure

2011-02-12T01:48:00.000+05:30

What does it take to sail through when you have reached your wit's end, when there is no hope, no strength, no reason to keep doin what you have been doing so far?...
A step of faith.

I had tagged myself a failure.I cried my eyes out.There was no where to run.There was no escape and there was no turning behind. On one side was a valley and a mountain on the other! Did I feel like jumping off into the valley?Yes, but I didnt want to. I had run the race too hard to make another impulsive decision and see myself going down again.

He said 'I am your shepherd and that's all you need to know! ' '...run with perseverance the race that is set before you..'
I took that one step forward in the race which was the most difficult. And two weeks later, I realized that at that moment, I had actually crossed the line that separated failure from victory.

You see God's blessings manifest themselves in your life when you step out in faith, not knowing what lies ahead of you.When you are about to quit, all you need to do is hang in there a little while and God will come to the rescue! What more? He sends people to support you. He makes you live in the most uncomfortable situations and with people too tough to handle and then lifts you up and teaches you to love those same people who you think are 'so-not-my-type'!

I have learned to love because He first loved me.
I have learned to forgive because He first forgave me.
I stand here today, alive because He saved me.

When the road you are trudging seems all uphill...

2011-01-18T02:38:00.001+05:30

There comes a time in life when you are down in the dumps.It feels like you will never come out of it.

Your job,career,health(mental & physical) everything goes for a toss.Everything is lurking in unpredictability.All it needs is slight push and it'll will fall off the edge.
If that isn't enough, the people you love the most are far away from you and suffering equally as you are.
You know their misery and yet you don't have the will or the strength to pick up the phone and call them,leave alone consoling them.

You pray hard, you try everything to make things work but you end up losing everything.

You want to cry to someone.You want to hear someone say 'It is going to be Ok'.You need a shoulder to rest your head on, just close your eyes for a while and feel peaceful.
But helplessly, you sleep on it only to find the next day worse than the one that passed.

All I wanted was to be happy, all I wanted was peace of mind...never knew it was so hard to find.

Shaam Tanha

2010-12-28T02:43:00.000+05:30

I finally found this song! Guess it was not really difficult! It's a song from Wake up sid. The song Shaam Tanha is by the band Agni and needless to say I just looove it!!

I saw Wake up Sid ...again!!I love watching this movie coz it reminds me of Mumbai all the time :):):)

Check out the song!

Of memories...

2010-12-26T01:35:00.003+05:30

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I start reading blogs after ages and as I comment on some of them, I remember those cheer-up-comments that he posted on my blog. I remember the strong persona he had that is so hard to find.He is like one of those people who you always remember no matter how many seasons pass.
Someone you see, then you don't...then you see them....then you don't. Its like you were playing a game of hide and seek.

He is someone who I am always reminded of when I pass along the places where he once could have possibly lived .In a crowd of people as I see one face that looks similar to him...I start to wonder "Is that him"?

As I write this post I know he'll never read this, that probably he will never visit this blog he once visited pretty often.I know, even if he does, he wouldn't understand what this is all about and maybe even I won't.

I have no point to make as I write this.This is just in memory of someone who has left an impression in my mind that probably no one of his age did. Someone whom I am constantly reminded of when I visit blogger ville...

Someone who'll recognize who I am talking about just as he reads the topic of this post...

.....

2010-12-22T23:20:00.000+05:30

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Je naina karun band band, beh jaye boond boond ...

Juggling between two cities

2010-12-17T00:02:00.001+05:30

Why is it that we want something that we dont have and then when we get it we no longer want it?!

I no longer feel the excitement to go back to Bombay permanently.

I am finally starting to like it here in Bangalore.Here every night is a party with friends, work is (almost close to NIL) fun and weekends aren't so sad any more.It is so much better with not having to face anyone who would stop you from attending Sunday worship.

Yet I want to go to Bombay only to meet my family and a few friends.That's where my heart always will be!
But there it would be the same kind of a life-work till late every day and stay at home every weekend.

I miss the chat from Mumbai, traveling in local trains and the fact that the city never sleeps.
Contrary to that, most shutters are rolled down in Bangalore by 9-9.30 and by 10 you'll have to get out of malls in case you aren't planning to spend your night sleeping in one of them. But nothing beats the weather here!!Although the rains can play spoilsport any moment...the weather here is pretty good most of the times.

Bangalore is a good to place to live in but its only problem is that its not Bombay!!

I dont know where I want to be right now!!

But for now...I am enjoying it here in Bengaluru. :):)

You are all that I know...

2010-11-24T02:27:00.001+05:30

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"You're the one who gives me shelter...
and you're the light that leads me home
you're the love that gave forever...
Lord you're all that I know"

-(Hillsong United-All)

After a long time and after quite a bumpy ride here in Bangalore, I feel at peace today.Dont you feel good when you feel protected in His arms?! Dont you feel great when something inspires you to write?!
Dont you feel great when you know people pray for you and care for you?!

For quite some time I have fought with circumstances and tried to get things done my way.But I have realised that if its not God's will for some things to happen its best to give up trying to flow against the tide and accept His will.The best we can and should do is pray that He gives us the strength to face what He is putting us through and the ability to be happy through the toughest of times.

And the prayer of a needful heart doesn't just bounce off the walls!He hears them with His ears pressed to those walls and answers them at the right time!!

The strength is there.All we need to do is ask.
His love is there within us...all we need to do is to open up our hearts and draw closer to Him.

Do you feel weak today?Then here's what He says...

"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."-2 Corinthians 12:9

Hang on to Him and He will never disappoint!! :)

Without a rhyme... with a reason.

2010-11-06T03:00:00.001+05:30

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Everything I write seems meaningless.

My world has run out of words.

Every thought is left unexpressed.

How many times have I looked at this space wanting to write,
I do not know.

I just clicked on the cross
and closed the window.

I wrote a few lines, I fell asleep

As I closed my eyes watching the lights on the street.

I waited for someone to come

for someone to hear

for someone to lend me a hand

to draw a lil near.

But all I found was silence...

empty echos

of my own voice.

Here I am again, finding myself

waiting for the me within to arise

Staring at the screen

as the time flies.

I pen these words

with a heart grief laden

A poem without a rhyme

but with a reason.

Bangalore calling...

2010-09-14T00:14:00.000+05:30

My "mini-vacation" in Mumbai is over and I am going to Bangalore again.I am not feeling too happy, nor too sad.Bangalore is good! No doubt.I found it a little better than Bombay actually.The only thing I miss in Bangalore are the people back home in Bombay and an internet connection!! And yes, not to forget someone who I am starting to miss a lot lately ,don't know why...

Till I return home or find an internet connection to be able to blog...buh-bye!

Of unsung heroes...

2010-07-20T00:07:00.001+05:30

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Aren't you sometimes so caught up in life that you forget to look around you?Aren't there times when your misery seems so big that you fail to realize that there are people who are roofless in the rains and struggling to make ends meet?

On my way back I was cribbing about the food at home...it was my normal complain, "I am so bored of the way you cook mom!"....As my rickshaw stopped at the signal, I saw a dhaaba at the corner where a little girl who had just come from school was sitting in her uniform on the footpath.She watched her father frying pakodas at the stall and probably was asking him to take her home.She sat there, her eyes wandering and watching people pass by.As I looked at her...I wondered...is my life more boring than hers? Am I sitting on a footpath watching my father slog so hard as the tiny little raindrops wet my shoes..?

We so often complain when someone stamps on our foot in the rains...don't we?Doesnt it feel yuck and makes you yell at the person who did that horibble act!? I took the ladies special train in the hope of finding a place to sit.And there, while talking to a friend over the phone, I saw a kid in tattered pants wiping the floor of the compartment to earn some money.And as he was doing his job a lady who got up from her seat to make her way to the exit accidentally stamped on the kid's hand as the train gave a jerk.How must have he felt?....But he didn't say a word in retaliation...(The lady apologized)

Sometimes I am amazed at the courage people have to live.I am amazed at the kind of people God put on this earth to set an example for people like me to follow.The kind of people who despite their misery stand out because they choose to make a living out of all that they have.And they do so without complaining.

They are the real heroes, coz supermen have powers to fly, to turn everything alright but what do these people have in their lives?Yet they show an indomitable courage that's worth admiring.

Going down memory lane...

2010-06-28T02:55:00.001+05:30

What things were gain to me, I count as lost for thee...

I don’t know why, but today I felt like posting this snapshot of my earlier blog...

Hollow...

2010-06-26T16:57:00.002+05:30

Its been weeks and have been feeling really weird.Don't you just sometimes wish that tough times could forever be removed from your life?? But sadly, they are the ones that teach you to value the good times.And its not for nothing that they say "The night is darkest just before the dawn".It is so true...

image:deviantart.com

This year so far has only been a year of "good byes".The thought of leaving people behind or moving away from them is so painful.In every month since april I've had to bid good bye to at least one good friend and I know there are more of those in another 2-3 months.Sure we are in a world where we have telephones/cell phones to talk to our mates and keep in touch with them no matter how far they are and of course social networking sites helps you stay connected but lets admit it, things change when distance comes in the way of any relationship.

Most of my friends have moved away to settle to new places or to pursue their career abroad.Also after college got over, everyone is busy with their jobs and training.I kind of...feel so alone right now.
Feel an emptiness all around me.And its not just coz of the good byes.But I dont know what it is all about.Most of the time I am so quiet, not wanting to talk to anybody or answering calls.Lost in pensive thoughts, all I want is to be left on my own.

I really don't know what more to write. I feel a deep sense of emptiness within and I don't have words to explain it...

Bin Tere ...

2010-06-12T03:11:00.000+05:30

Bin Tere...

Bin Tere Bin Tere Bin Tereeee
Koi khalish hai hawaon mein
Bin Tere

Kuch bacha hi nahi darmiya

Saaans leti hai abb yeh dooriyann

Dil nahi janta raahon mein
Haath se haath chuthe the kahan
Kyun Nazar ke kinaare Tutte hai khwaab saaare
Tu bata

Suna suna sama hai
Khali khali jahan hai aab mera

Bin Tere Bin Tere Bin Tereeee
Koi khalish hai hawaon mein
Bin Tere

Whatever happened to the bucket list????

2010-05-24T01:23:00.002+05:30

Its been two years since I was saved (It's the same time that Jesus touched my life two years back!:)) and life took a U-turn.I was just looking back at all the things that happened in those two years and that thought has got me into doing too much of introspection.And its not the same old things I always think about.
I've been thinking about all those dreams I had that I didn't see fulfilled - the things I wanted to do, the places where I wanted to go...Life gets by so quickly when you are caught up in your routine.A hurried and (sometimes a worried lifestyle) leaves little room for those dreams to creep through.Its like every day you spend brooding or wasting doing worthless things, you are actually, unknowingly, distancing yourself from the bucket list one day at a time.

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Dreams and the wishlists you have when you are growing up can be so silly.
"I want to fly, I want to touch the stars"

"I want to be an astronaut"

"I want to work for the Discovery channel"

But they make life a little more interesting.Don't you think?

I remember someone saying "What is life without an impossible dream?"

Let's face it,one can't have everything in life. We just have a limited "shelf life" on this planet and I am sure we cannot cram so much into our lives.I mean, you cannot be a doctor, an astronaut, an artist, an engineer at the same time!...(But yeah, being an astronaut, be able to fly, "touch the stars" and working for discovery channel seems feasible!) But the point is, there is so much to do and so little time to do it.

Most of my life (most of my teenage years) got wasted in worries and fears.Even now, I waste my time over useless and worthless things that in the end dont even matter.What I fail to realize is the amount of time of my life I am wasting over such nonsensical things!
And then, one fine day as I happen to see pictures of friends doing all those things I wanted to do... BAAM!! Realization hits me! "Look at you!...whatever happened to that bucket list!"

I am getting old!...And I've got so many things to do before I die.

So I guess its time, I took up that list again and did something about it! Its time to pray over it and God willing I would've ticked off every item on that list before I die :)

PS. why do they call it the bucket list anyway?*scratches her head*...Any idea?

The line that separates my two worlds...

2010-05-15T03:42:00.001+05:30

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Its late in the night and pretty dark outside.Yet my eyes struggle so as not to fall asleep.Not until all those doubts in my head are answered.Time and again, I find myself standing right here on this edge, this boundary that separated two worlds - One imaginary and the other real.

The line that separated the past from the present, the old from the new.

Why did God never define this "boundary" ? Why did He leave it up to me to find out?
I erased it like a million times so that I may not have to see it again.But who was I kidding?!...I knew it could never be erased...

Running away is not an option...How far can I go?Everything begun from here after all.

Where all my joys started once is where my worries end today.It is probably, the dearest yet the most painful.

Am I still dreaming?Still trying to fight to change its destiny?

For once I wish dreams never come true, not at least ones like these...

You fall away from your past but its following you...

2010-05-15T02:40:00.000+05:30

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You swear you recall nothing at all
That could make you come back down
You made up your mind to leave it all behind
Now you're forced to fight it out

You fall away from your past
But it's following you
You fall away from your past
But it's following you

You left something undone, it's now your rerun
It's the one you can't erase
You should have made it right, so you wouldn't have to fight
To put a smile back on your face

You fall away from your past
But it's following you
You fall away from your past
But it's following you
You fall away
You fall away

Something I've done that I can't outrun
Something I've done that I can't outrun
Maybe you should wait maybe you should run
But there's something you've said that can't be undone

And you fall away from your past
But It's following you
You fall away from your past
But It's following you
You fall away from your past
But It's following you
You fall away from your past
But It's following you

You fall away
It's following you

You fall away

-The Fray

Loved it!

2010-05-08T00:25:00.000+05:30

I really loved the advert!

(And no, I am not promoting any product :P)

I just lovedddd it!

Check out the song Trickle by Morgan Van Dam. It’s short but really cool!

Trickle-Morgan Van Dam

Blog under construction...

2010-05-04T03:25:00.000+05:30

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"You don't even care".....(yeah right!!!)

2010-04-29T01:13:00.001+05:30

How do you feel when the two people, you care about the most in the world, tell you...."yea, just go ahead do your own thing, you don't know our worth, don't even care about us" ??

You lose your sleep worrying about them, your heart aches to see their hearts break, you turn around just to put a smile on their face and all that you get is "you don't even care!!!"

Sometimes pain and sorrow become so much of a part of your life that you simply get used to it. You don't long for happiness or that hope. You just want to sulk and be left alone with your loneliness.

Today I couldn't take it anymore and walked out of the house in the evening (only to return later).I rejected frantic calls from them, took a walk in the park in front of my old building(and looked at my house every time I passed that place), talked to my childhood friend Soniya who's relocating for a job and gave the location preferences for the job (Mumbai, Pune and Bangalore...in that order) amidst all other things.

I wished the order was reversed since “home” was the last place I wanted to be at.But at the same time,I know I wouldn’t have done that since I cannot live without them....because I really care for them. Probably, off late, I’ve been too much into my own mess to share their burden but I care a lot more than they think I do....and my heart knows that and so does He...

2010-04-27T23:59:00.001+05:30

God! spare me those mood swings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :( :( :(

Calvin and Hobbes

2010-04-25T03:03:00.003+05:30

At first, I thought of posting about the last week which felt like forever.Then I thought, 'What's the point anyway? The world is too full of its own problems to read about mine'.So at least for now, I am sparing my blog from becoming a collection of sad posts that make no difference anyway.

As I was aimlessly browsing through the internet, I found Calvin and Hobbes comic strip and thought of posting it here.So check it out...

About the chord that I never struck...

2010-04-13T02:06:00.001+05:30

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Some dreams do get lost along the way...
I never thought I'd give up on this one dream though.I wouldn't really say I've given up but its sort of on a hold.I finally used up all the money I had saved up for my guitar.

I remember how crazily I wanted one, not to show off because it looks cool but because I really wanted to learn to play it.I love the sound of the guitar and am crazy about it.After a failed attempt at trying to convince my parents for the guitar I had given up trying to convince them further for it.I couldn't even keep the promise I made to myself that I'd improve my grades.That way, I at least stood a chance of bribing my parents into allowing me to have the guitar!
I still hoped that I would finally buy one and learn it.As days turned, into weeks, weeks into months and months into years now, my dream to have the guitar went down the drain.Money was never the issue.I had saved enough for it.I would never let myself take money out of what I called my 'guitar fund' even when I ran short of pocket money! But life got busy, there were a lot of things on my mind, a lot of mess to take care of and somewhere along the way the dream died down.

I was just listening to a piece of music right now on the internet where the person was just playing the guitar and it sounded so soothing and peaceful.
I really wish I had a guitar and knew how to play it! If I had that one thing right now, I would never ask for anything else in the next ten years!!(Ok people, don't take it literally!)

Maybe I'll buy it when I start to get my paychecks ;)

Maybe its not the right time for it.Maybe the time's not right for anything at all...

Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself -Matthew 6:24

2010-04-05T15:26:00.003+05:30

Last night after writing the previous post, as I was reading a christian blog, I came upon an article.

A Jesus blog

(click on the link to read the entire article)

Jesus says, “Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will not pass away.” (Matthew 24:35)

Your life is constantly moving, changing, evolving, flowing.Circumstances come and go. Some of the events in your life are painful and others joyous and fun. The constant change you perceive through your senses is the source of great suffering, great unhappiness, and fear. The natural tendency is to look to the past or the future to find some happiness, success, and fulfillment—the endless grasping for happiness that always seems just out of your reach. There is always something else to pursue a goal, a dream, an idea that will provide the happiness that you long for deep down in the depths of your being. Rare is the one who stops this endless looking to the past or the future.

......
Since arriving here I(the writer) have met some of the most deeply loving people, people who are aware of a great secret—the great secret of Life. In the many meetings I have attended here the common conversation is the story of life, the story of suffering that is always based on what happened in the past or what might happen in the future. Many of these stories are deeply heartbreaking, exposing the deep suffering that people experience in life. Each person has different experiences and circumstances that have appeared in their life, but ultimately it is the very same story you are telling yourself everyday.

Jesus illuminates, “Look, here it is!’ or ‘There!’ for behold, the kingdom of God in the midst of you.’ (Luke 17:21) Midst is in the center and all around. What do you experience when you look into the center of your being?

Jesus says, “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” (Matthew 6:24) If for a moment you stop paying attention to your thoughts of the past or your thoughts of the future, what do you experience? What do you notice? The common experience is to try and cling to the good experiences of life and get rid of or avoid the bad experiences in life. But this endless clinging to and avoidance of is the source of deep suffering throughout the world.

When you focus your attention on the past it is like living your life looking in a rear view mirror or looking at a mirage in the desert. Is that past real right now in this moment? Looking at the past or the future hides what is always here, it hides that which never changes, is always constant, always present. Pain is part of life, but suffering is the story you are telling yourself about the pain you experience in life. Suffering is complex and it has to be practiced to continue.

Jesus illuminates, “And no one puts new wine into old wineskins. If he does, the new wine will burst the skins and it will be spilled, and the skins will be destroyed. But new wine must be put into fresh wineskins.” (Luke 5:37) The new wine is the essence of your life the life force that beats your heart. If you pour your life energy into your story you will suffer, it destroys your life or the wine skin will burst. If you remain aware of this life force and stop touching your story you are free from this endless suffering, you will be free from the endless commentary of your own mind—new wine in new wine skins.

True abundance has nothing to do with the things of this world. It has nothing to do with any emotion or feeling. In Truth, you are endlessly wealthy, endlessly abundant. You are Love itself and that Love never ends! Wow! "

freedom!

I got my answer right then. Pain is inevitable but the suffering that follows can be prevented if only we try. Most of my depression has been only because I've been worrying too much about my past that doesnt matter any more or my future that I have never even seen.In the process of fretting and brooding I ignore my present which is all I have and of which I can make the most.

I remember those days when I was so involved in my training that I had no time to think about people who really don't deserve my time, emotions and thoughts.And it felt so good! All I had to think about was the job that was given to me at that moment and worry about nothing else.

And there were days (September of 2008 to be specific),with my friends, when I wasn't the I-AM-SO-LOST-IN-MY-WORLD kind of a person that I tend to be.I was the happiest at that point in life.

So from now on, no more clinging to the past or worrying about the future for the future will take care of its own worries ;)

Sometimes...

2010-04-04T21:31:00.004+05:30

image

Sometimes there are days when I don’t like anyone around me...

I hate them no matter what they do for me,

I hate them for no reason.

I don’t want to talk to anyone, don’t want anyone to even understand my silence.

I wish I could just switch off any means of communication and be in my own lonely world.

All alone, isolated.

I want to shut myself out from the world outside and not allow anyone ....and by that I mean anyone at all, to peep into my world of loneliness.

There’s nothing I want to do. There is nowhere I want to go.

Just cry my eyes out over nothing.

There are moments of insanity, when I start to feel like I am some kind of a psychopath.And that people are around me are at the receiving end of my mood swings.

I want to crush all my dreams under my feet and watch my heart die with those dreams.

I close those blinds to stop even a single ray of light to pass through.

All I want is to live in this faithless, hopeless world I create for myself.

I wish, no one saved me....no, not this time...

Living in a state of melancholy, I sometimes wish I were never alive...

Making a room for the new....or at least trying...

2010-03-24T19:08:00.002+05:30

Off late I am starting to hate the word 'moving'...

moving on...!
moving away...!

A few more weeks and it would be time to move into another place.It would be time to pack my bags and leave for a 'home' only to return two years later, to see a new high rise building built on top of my former home. But would it be the same to live in there? To know that you are living at a place underneath which, lies your old sweet home and memories would be so weird.

Our building, where we stayed, for over two decades is being redeveloped.And the hardest thing to do is to leave this place where I have been staying since I was born! The thought of leaving behind the place where I long to come back every day is painful.

I know, I know....everyone will say, "change is good","you'll get to make new friends", "it's just a matter of two years", blah blah blah....but my home is my home!!!.....No other place in this world can beat it... ever! Its a place where I've played with my friends, rode bicycle at, fought with my brother, caught fishes in those li'l streams that formed when it rained , where I've celebrated 21 birthdays(and hopefully the 22nd too), where I've cried, where I've laughed, where I've partied, saw shooting stars with two of my closest friends, saw the city night lights from the terrace....!! I could go on and on about it.

I love the scent in this house, the early morning sun rays pouring through the window, the moonlit balcony....just about everything in this house!

Every brick in the wall of this house has a memory engraved in it!
And to see those bricks being destroyed is watching all those memories being killed one by one.

Okay, I know I am getting a little too emotional. But that's how I am. I never even want to get married just because I don't want to leave home!..:P

As I have mentioned a million times before, I really get attached to people and places too easily.And then letting go becomes really difficult.(Thank God I am not a military kid!!) No doubt, I am going to have a tough time moving out of this place.
All of the special moments spent at this place would start to rewind in my mind, as if I were watching a flash back of my life.

I rejected a few flats that my parents chose after a lot of house hunting and added to their plight. But I wont be doing that anymore as I know how hard it is for them to.They are just doing it 'coz they have to.

The rule of life says...'You gotta clear out the old to make a room for the new'

So I am trying not to think too much about it (yeah right!) and do just that. Although I really don't want to...

I love my home ♥♥♥

Stop crying your heart out..

2010-03-21T02:47:00.005+05:30

Hold up!
Hold on!
Don't be scared,
You'll never change what's been and gone
May your smile,
Shine on,
Don't be scared,
Your destiny may keep you warm,

'Cause all of the stars,
Have faded away
Just try not to worry,
You'll see them someday,
Take what you need,
And be on your way and
Stop crying your heart out

Get up,
Come on,
Why you scared?
You'll never change what's been and gone

-Oasis

2010-03-17T20:39:00.000+05:30

Will write...and write soon...

Psalm 23

2010-03-16T20:47:00.003+05:30

The lord is my shepherd; I shall not want

2 He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters.

3 He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake.

4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; My cup runs over.

6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; and I dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Amen!

2010-03-15T21:00:00.003+05:30

Enough.Period.

FoRgOtTen??

2010-03-11T02:29:00.005+05:30

Its sad when people you know become people you knew...

I could never understand how people move on so fast. And probably never would...

It feels like you never really knew them...like they are a totally different person and all that you saw before was just an illusion.

Maybe its just me...
Maybe I am just one of those people who just so easily slip out of your mind!!..lol

WakIng uP!

2010-03-06T00:37:00.003+05:30

Sometimes I really like it when my life gets busy. When I have loads of work to do, my mind is away from baseless thoughts that seem to cause a lot of worry.

And the best of all things is that when I am away from home and caught up with the project and my training I tend to daydream a lot less. Living your dream and making it come true is a good thing but then living in a dream forever isn't really a good idea.You dream, you have your head in the clouds and one fine day when you open your eyes and see yourself on the ground, you are disappointed. It is so easy to drift in your own world and start to build castles in the air and get carried away.
Everything is perfect in your little dream land untill reality dawns upon you.

You realise that your sweet little imaginary world never really existed! And that awful feeling you have at that moment takes you down. Reality seems so harsh!!

But the fact remains that its better to know the truth, you own limits, your capabilities and accept God's will.
At least when you stay grounded, you know you wouldn't suffer a great fall! Having said that if we don't dream we wouldn't accomplish anything at all.

As for me, I am going to try and stay awake!Old habits die hard but I hope and pray that I get over the daydreaming habit.

I don't want to be living in a bubble anymore...

Need a pain killer....do you have one??

2010-03-02T01:55:00.007+05:30

To have a heap of emotions in your head almost about to blast off and not being able to express them is so frustrating.Its like if you don't find a vent for your emotions you'll cross the mark of sanity and break down the next moment.

Ok, so I am alone.
People are busy. No problem
No one cares a shit. No issues
No one can understand. Perfectly alright!

But at least let me write! At least let me speak up! At least find me words to pen down in my diary!!

Why do I have to be robbed of words when I begin to write a poem?

Am I not even supposed to tell my blog about how sick I feel??

Why does writer's block strike when I am miserable as hell and have no way out of the mess?!!

I try to smile but the pain grows inside.I try to forget and guilt creeps back into my mind.

Why??.... why does life have to be so fucking hard sometimes???

....

2010-03-01T19:07:00.002+05:30

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes
They're all I can see

Love? ....umm...Not Actually!

2010-02-11T03:13:00.006+05:30

Yes people its the much hyped 'Valentine's Day' this Sunday!

I seriously believe this whole concept of 'Valentine's day' has created to make singles feel more miserable about themselves.No offense to anyone though.
I used to be one of those teens too who'd sulk every year on the 14th of Feb feeling sick about the fact they don't have a date.
But I've found a way around all of that.And as matter of fact, I've actually moved far away from all these lovey dovey things that really dont matter in the end- they dont even come close to defining what love really is.Gifts and flowers are surely pleasing and wonderful to have but love is beyond all of that.And just because no one gave you hugs or blew kisses to you on the 14th of feb doesnt prove that you are some sort of a loser!!

Okay!okay! I am not against it or anything.I am just saying that love doesn't need this one day to prove itself.

(Didnt get? never mind! :P)

For me, I am still happy single and I love it that way! I have more time for myself and for Him.There is so much to life than chasing the so called 'perfect man' for yourself.

Being single gives me a lot of independence.I mean I need time for myself!(talk about being self obsessed..lol).I have no one on my mind and that leaves a lot of space in my head for my dreams and ambitions.

There comes a point of time in life when you just sit and look back at all the crushes and relationships you've had and wonder how meaningless they seem now at present.Having said that lets not deny the fact that they do teach you a lot along the way.But later they just become a joke-something you can just laugh about and shrug off saying "whatever!".

I guess I've reached that point in my life where I am okay not being with 'the one' and have all the patience in the world to wait for him to come along and love to just happen in its own time.

the bible says..
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven - Ecclesiastes 3. 1

I am sure God has planned my story too but I guess I should wait until He chooses to reveal it.

Till then I'll keep walking on, discovering my Life!

♥LifE♥ :)

Again?

2010-02-05T00:59:00.004+05:30

He came...
He saw...
He conquered....again !

I wonder how, I wonder why...
I am still at a loss for words....

*lost in thoughts*

My soul shall find rest in Christ... and Christ alone...

2010-01-31T14:51:00.007+05:30

(an excerpt from my diary...)

"They"....dont matter to me.
"They" didnt make me or bring me up."They", will thus, never understand me.

But to me, it makes no difference.For all that matters to me in the end is that, He who created me understands me and loves me for who I am.

That I can go to Him at the end of the day with all my worries and in Him I find peace, is important to me.

My soul shall find rest in Christ alone.

No one told me life was gonna be this way...

2010-01-25T18:27:00.007+05:30

Every time I am upbeat and life's going great, there's always a little fear inside me that this happiness would soon be gone any moment.

Tomorrow might not be all that great after all
and when its time to face the storm
would I still stand tall?

The first half of last year went very well.The latter half was better in the sense that I had been able to 'move on'.

But since it was all going good, there had to be trouble waiting at some corner of the road.

I knew life wouldn't be hunky dory all the time but didn't expect life to be so rickety at the start of the year itself.

Life gets so bad when you know you have Someone to fall back on, yet you've distanced yourself so much from Him that you are like a lost ship in a nasty storm.

It's like no one understands you, you've lost trust in people, in friends, in your family...
You bear the burden of hurting someone so close, even when you know you arent wrong.

All around you people are breaking apart.You try to console them and then wonder....'how am I different from her?Shouldn't I be picking up the pieces of my life first?'

You see smiles fading, you look at faces that look so alien to you, every word seems a lie and every act ...a pretense.

You know in their hearts they don't really love you or care for you...

No matter how many people you are surrounded by, you are still ALONE...

2010-01-19T01:13:00.003+05:30

and this too shall pass.....

Where do I go?

2010-01-15T19:19:00.003+05:30

Sometimes Yes
and sometimes No...

Where do I go?
Lord where do I go??

And black is back!

2010-01-14T19:24:00.006+05:30

I am loving my black nail shade!...
(I know...sounds silly and girly..but whatever!)

Despite the "what the f..." look on my brother's and dad's face I gotta see the last time I wore this nail paint, I went ahead and did it again!

I mean, what do men know about fashion anyway!..haha

Mom chose to simply ignore it.After several failed attempts to provoke her to say something about my pitch black nails, when I finally asked her "Ummm...Mom...no comments???"

"Its your life...do whatever you want"...she said

The peace loving person that she is, she never really argued over it much.

And as for me...I am lovin' the change...para pa pa pa(In case you didnt get what it sounded like...it was the Mcdonald's tune)...;)

Change is good!

2010-01-06T21:09:00.005+05:30

I got a hairdo some 3-4 weeks back and ever since I've had the hair cut people dont recognize me!

Okay, I mean people I interact with regularly obviously recognize me but there many who walk past me (with a "who-are-you-crazy-smiling-girl?-I-don't-even-know-you "expression on their faces) even when I smile at them!

People just walk past me at first, only to turn back after walking a little distance and smile or wave at me or just say 'hey! You look different!'

There used to be a time (I was small back then)when I was scared to go to the hairdresser's coz I was apprehensive about how I would look after the hair cut.But not anymore, I was actually enjoying every moment of the combing,cutting,blow drying of the hair.
I absolutely loved the hair cut . True, my hair is a mess again- all frizzy and shaggy but it still turned out better than how I thought it would.

The right hairstyle can make you look and feel so different!

I love the fact that people fail to recognize me! ;)

Clearing the deck for a new beginning!

2010-01-02T01:55:00.006+05:30

In case anyone is interested in knowing how the last year was for me, here it is...

When I look back at those 21 years of my life(I dont believe in hiding my age, I would shout it out loud from mountain tops if you ask me to! I really dont see the point in lying about your age) the only two years of my life that immediately come to my mind are 2008 and '09.

2008 was like a new beginning and 2009 was what I would call "the perfect year"- complete and satisfying in every aspect.
For one, I let go off this desire to be in a relationship.(Finally!) Ever since I turned a teenager I had been taking these things too seriously, to the point that I would end up hurting myself every time.
But trust me, I have put it behind me now.I am so HAPPY to be this way.I dont need to be with someone to be happy!There so much more to life to discover and live! God's been kind to me and has helped me to wave goodbye to this phase. Yeah, love is the last thing on my mind now!(or maybe the second last....or...okay, definitely not among the first 10 things on my mind right now!!:P) And that has been the biggest relief ever!

God has probably blessed me with one of the most wonderful lives on this earth today! No doubt, troubles knock on the door every now and then but why fear when Jesus is here!!?

I made many friends, got out of my little shell and learned to open up to people.I grew up to be someone who loves to interact with people(although I must admit I suck at communicating with people) which was exactly the opposite of what I used to be once!

Over the past one year, I've realised that its better not to judge someone or expect anything out of people.Lets face it.We all have flaws, we all change and there's always going to be a time when you feel "hey, this is not how he/she used to be before".But that doesn't mean they are wrong.Every friendship or relationship for that matter needs space to grow.You just gotta forgive them, smile, say 'never mind! ' and move on.

Yeah "move on"...That's what God taught me this year! He helped me crossed the biggest mountain of my life!!

I learned to love people and to love God.
(1 John 4:19 "We love because He first loved us")

What more?
I lost a little bit of weight, managed to look a little different, got a job,got an unlimited broadband plan, got a lappy, got a new cellphone, had a great 21st birthday, overcame my fear of speaking in public and gave my testimony in church, managed to pass(by God's grace) without a single K.T......blah blah...I could go on and on forever!

Now, with all those million zillion reasons, how could I not be thankful to God for all that I am today??

I am totally a changed person.It feels like life's begun all over again.It feels like I've cleared the deck, put all the crappy years behind me and am looking forward, towards a brighter and an infinite horizon.

Who would have thought looking at this blog two years ago, if it would have come this far...

Psalm 30:12 – "That my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give you thanks for ever."

Wish you guys a happy and blessed 2010 !!

Some junk for my trunk please!

2009-12-14T20:03:00.013+05:30

I've been down with some stomach problems from the past one week. For almost 5 days I had lost my appetite.So much so that I felt like puking when I smelled food! Now, that is weird coz being the foodie that I am, I have never been through such a phase.Yes there were these minor 'I dont want to eat' phases but they were quite rare.

Thanks to my ailment, I lost a little weight (yay! *grins*) and food was the last thought on my mind .But since the past two days I've been craving for food when I stay hungry for more than a few hours! And by food I mean junk food! I am a typical mumbaiite so grabbing a Jumbo king after college on my way back home, having those roadside chats and sandwiches comes naturally to me. Yes and that happens even when mom takes the trouble to pack lunch (read boring lunch!) for me early before leaving for work.

I was just thinking how addicted I've become to junk food.Just 5 days without the junk and here I am dying to eat fast food!
After a lot of pleading "Mom please let me have one sandwich!pleeheease mom, pleeheease! I'll die(*over acting*)", all I get to hear is "When I say no! I mean NO junk at all kiddo"
Darn!

Its so difficult to pass by one of those fast food stalls and not have a bite of that junk.I mean, that's like insulting junk food!

Picture this
You try not be tempted when your best friend's having that delicious chicken roll with lots and lots of mayo in it.
"Would you like to taste this one" she asks you

You say "No,thanks I am not supposed to eat it" when you actually wish that roll was in your hands instead of hers!
After a few seconds you see the roll disappearing bit by bit into her mouth,you see the mayonnaise dripping out of it...then a few pieces of onion....
Your mouth starts watering....

and then...

"That's it! I cant take this anymore....! I am buying it for myself!"

So you see, with junk food, its that easy!Ever seen that happen with karele ki sabzi??

I guess I really need some junk for my trunk! Maybe that is the antidote for my ailment!Who knows!?...But these parents and doctors....*sigh*

Breathing but not alive

2009-12-14T02:06:00.005+05:30

The most frustrating part about writing a poem is when you don't find the right words when you have a plethora of emotions to pen down!You start off pretty well and then you gotta give up half way coz words evade you as you try to find them!! Darn!!

I finally gave up.

Not just the poem but on many other things...

(just managed to write these few lines)

Breathing but not alive

I try to catch a glimpse of you
As you walk away

I try to chase those words
as your voice trails off

But before you go..
there is one thing you should know...

That without you,
I maybe surviving...
But I am a dead soul
who's just breathing....

A lot like love

2009-12-08T14:13:00.005+05:30

Now, I know this is not a new movie or anything but I totally loved it.Actually, I like all kinds of movies (except the really chindi ones!) and this movie was no exception.
It had been a long time I hadnt watched a nice romantic-comedy , I was dying to watch one.So I saw this one on youtube and totally loved it. Its quite funny , gets a little emotional at times and of course romantic too...
"On a flight from Los Angeles to New York, Oliver and Emily make a connection, only to decide that they are poorly suited to be together. Over the next seven years, however, they are reunited time and time again, they go from being acquaintances to close friends to ... lovers? While flying from Los Angeles to New York, the "good boy" Oliver Martin (Ashton Kutcher) meets the "bad girl" Emily Friehl (Amanda Peet) and they have sex in the restroom. They stay together along the day in New York, when Oliver discloses the planning of his life - his future career, successful job and then raising a family. He gives the phone number of his mother to Emily and asks her to call seven years later to check. For seven years, they occasionally meet each other, and in the end, their relationship becomes love."

source:idmb

Just love that way how they fall for each other without realizing (actually they do realize but just don't want to accept it).I wish I fall for someone like this too! Totally unexpectedly.

Anyway its a great movie (well..that's at least what I think)!
And needless to say I downloaded all the soundtracks from the movie, they are too good.

Through it all He's always there for you....:)

2009-12-03T20:53:00.007+05:30

(This post is for you fatso :P)

Today, no matter what life throws at you there is Someone who will protect you through it all.Who will not let you fall and who will be your strength in times of trouble.

No enemy can hurt you, for the Lord wouldn't let him!!

"I have known the Father's care for me
He's been good He's been good
Through it all He's always there for me
God's been good to me

Through the storms
Through the night
Come what may everything
Will be all right
I have known the Father's
Care for me
God's been good to me "

God is good and He glips you( always)!!

.....

2009-12-01T00:57:00.005+05:30

Waking up at 11 am,having breakfast at 12 noon, having lunch at 5 in the evening and sleeping at 6 in the morning has become a routine these days.Its like having a jet lag effect!

Life is going haywire, emotions are on a all time high as usual and things aren't going to well lately, especially relationships.

Today, it suddenly dawned upon me how much my friends mean to me.I couldn't help thinking about friendships gone sour,some friends who moved away,some who I forgot, some who got lost along the way, some who distanced themselves and some with whom things have just gone too awkward lately. It hurts to see people change so drastically.It is a part of life that cannot be denied still the human mind always wishes "things were as they were before"...

I just wish sometimes there were no people around, just me and Him.At least there wouldn't be expectations, disappointments, having to walk away from people and trying to dodge their thoughts.

Its not always necessary to understand who or what went wrong.Yet we always love digging for these reasons causing ourselves to worry endlessly.

Its not easy to understand people!(Its not easy to understand myself sometimes!)

Losing people- who once meant so much to you, just for no real reason seems so unfair!Yet there is barely anything you can do about it!!

Sometimes forgiving and forgetting is not all that easy.And not just others, sometimes even yourself .

Wish I could run away....

2009-11-28T02:42:00.004+05:30

Dear God,

I sit here once again

knowing you would hear me

that you alone would see my tears...

They say all good things come to end..

(Yeah all...but for you)

knowing this, I still hoped against all hopes

(photo)

then why did I cry when it all went away

why did my heart wail in pain...?

Lord was I wrong?

Should I have waited weeping

for someone who had already moved on??

I am....?

2009-11-07T19:20:00.000+05:30

Six months from now I would be graduating with one of the most prestigious degree in my hand.I can write..'BTech' after me name.

Sometimes I ask myself "Are you even 10% of a software engineer??"

I wonder at times, if I went back in time and had taken up a course in commercial arts wouldn't I be happier?After all I was fond of arts when I was in school.The other day I was looking at one of my friend's album on facebook.She studies at J.J. School of arts and they have their fest going on.As I looked at those paintings and the creativity I wished I could do all of that!! But why go back in time? Would I do it now if at all there was a choice?...*thinks hard*....hmmm...not sure.

When I passed my board exams, there was always this desire to join an NGO and work for people.I was more inclined towards working for the under privileged and specially kids.Even today when I see those little kids selling books at railway stations and in crowded trains and see them working so hard for so little, I wish I could go ahead and do something for them.When I see salesmen slogging and elderly people delivering couriers (perhaps even harder than I would have) and see people slamming their doors on them and shooing them away I wish I could do something.But the best I can do is smile at them appreciating their work and maybe sometimes simply pray for them.

And then there is this deep desire to travel all round the world and spread God's word.I want to go to different places go rock climbing and trekking and live my life to the fullest .

Do I hate studying? No. But over the past few years I have grown ignorant towards studies.Sometimes I wish I could have put in more effort. But some how even today its not working out.

I wish I had a job where I could work for like three days a week, travel to places I want for two days, spend one day working for the under privileged and on Sunday just go to church and worship all day long.Perfect! But if only wishes were horses!! :P

So that leaves me with just one question, "am I really an engineer?" To be frank, No.That was someone I wanted to be once and want even now but only halfheartedly.At heart though I am some one else.But who??

*takes a long pause*

I wish I knew!!
(I am such a confused soul, aint I? :P)

Troubles can be good some times

2009-11-04T15:48:00.001+05:30

I woke up this morning and messaged a few friends(my langotiya friends lol) who I had been out of touch with since a couple of months now.And their replies brought a wide smile on my face.
I got out of the bed and looked around in the house and found out that everyone had left for work! "Of course! It's 11 am d-u-h!" I said to myself.

After a little while,I sat down to have a chat with Him.We had a lot to catch up on, considering the fact that I hadn't found time to have a conversation with Him amidst all the chaos in my life.

As I was talking, tears rolled down my cheeks(nothing new..lol) and I kept on weeping like a baby.It was as if the pain within me was going away from me through the tears.And a few moments later I sat quietly and peacefully knowing that He was beside me.

I realized that what hurt me yesterday, was necessary for me to know my mistake.That there were some things I needed to change in my life.That it was time to move on and accept certain things I cannot change. That I had a few areas of life that needed to be dealt with before I could have all that I wanted.And above everything else it was necessary to bring me back to Him.

I guess, I need those troubles in my life to bring me closer to God.Rock bottoms in life are just God's way of telling us that "sometimes you cant make it on your own" and that we need Him.

I got this beautiful message today

"When every human source of supply seems to have dried up, don't fear, look for The river(God).God will help [you] at break of day' (Psalm 46:5). Daybreak, a symbol of new beginnings, gives you confidence that beyond this time of trouble and testing, a new day is at hand. "

'Be still, and know that I am God...' (Psalm 46:10)

So you see, if troubles get you closer to Him...they are good in a way, aren't they?;)

read the entire message here.

Of defeat and victory....

2009-11-03T16:55:00.000+05:30

Fallen down...

Crying...

Failed yet again...

mocked at...

Mistakes repeated..

Repenting....

I looked up with teary eyes and asked once again...."why?"

"Take me to You for no one else understands me.Even if I stand on a mountain top and yell my guts out, not a single person would listen. Even if someone does listen....will he understand??"

No.

(The answer came loud and clear from within)

I sulked...and searched for a an answer...
And then I heard someone say...

"We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed and broken. We are perplexed, but we don't give up and quit.

We are hunted down but God never abandons us, we get knocked down but we get up again and keep going" 2 Corinthians 4:8-9

And then there was peace.....

Snapshots of my new laptop

2009-10-30T02:38:00.000+05:30

Os- Windows 7 home premium
Memory-4GB shared dual channel
500GB hard drive SATA Drive

Click on the imgaes to view them clearly....check out the 'sticky note' feature...not much of use though but still liked it..lol

I would have taken a few more snaps but gotta get back to studies right now.

Alas!

2009-10-24T00:54:00.000+05:30

I wrote a poem after almost 3 months..
I must admit though that every poem I have written has come at a time when life didn't seem hopeful...when some answers didn't come easily and when I have felt the winds of adversity blowing hard against myself.
I guess sufferings brings out the best in every poet ;)
(And by a strange coincidence....I wrote this poem too, like other poems, when my exams are just about to start!!!)

Right now though, all I want to say is this....

"I don't want the world to see me 'Cause I don't think that they'd understand When everything's made to be broken I just want You to know who I am"
-Iris(Goo Goo dolls)

Truly Inspiring and really sweet!

2009-10-21T02:06:00.000+05:30

As I was surfing the internet looking for inspiring stories, I found these really sweet and encouraging stories at this site.

I loved this particular story the most! Do read it, I am sure it'll make you smile!!

-------

The Ice Cream Prayer
-- Author Unknown

Last week I took my children to a restaurant. My six-year-old son asked if he could say grace.

As we bowed our heads he said, "God is good. God is great. Thank you for the food, and I would even thank you more if Mom gets us ice cream for dessert. And Liberty and justice for all! Amen!"

Along with the laughter from the other customers nearby I heard a woman remark, "That's what's wrong with this country. Kids today don't even know how to pray. Asking God for ice cream! Why, I never!"

Hearing this, my son burst into tears and asked me, "Did I do it wrong? Is God mad at me?"

As I held him and assured him that he had done a terrific job and God was certainly not mad at him, an elderly gentleman approached the table.

He winked at my son and said, "I happen to know that God thought that was a great prayer."

"Really?" my son asked.

"Cross my heart." Then in a theatrical whisper he added (indicating the woman whose remark had started this whole thing), "Too bad she never asks God for ice cream. A little ice cream is good for the soul sometimes."

Naturally, I bought my kids ice cream at the end of the meal. My son stared at his for a moment and then did something I will remember the rest of my life.

He picked up his sundae and without a word walked over and placed it in front of the woman.

With a big smile he told her, "Here, this is for you. Ice cream is good for the soul sometimes, and my soul is good already."

:)

A vain post on a sleepless night

2009-10-18T03:00:00.000+05:30

Its 3.00 in the morning and I ain't sleepy at all. So I got out of the bed watched T.V for a while and here I am sitting in front of my laptop typing this post for no particular reason.

I Had a great day today and then as I was just about to hit the bed and pray before I was off to sleep, something ruined my mood! And there, I was tossing and turning in my bed trying to sleep!My my mind couldn't take the onslaught of thoughts and I finally gave up trying to sleep.

These days something has been really bothering me.I've suddenly started to get this fear of being lonely! I cant stay at home alone.I just need to (NEED TO) get out of my house and meet people!! Its strange, how, once a shy girl wanting to be left alone now desperately wants to be around people.I mean, social networking is fine but meeting people face to face and talking to them in person feels way different from meeting people online!

And I miss being around people....my friends....miss talking to someone who would understand everything.Yeah sure, God's always there but sometimes you wish there was a person you can call up anytime (yea, even at 3 in the morning!!) , who'd know you inside out, who wouldn't change and who really cares but......NEVER MIND. I can go on forever...!! But then again God is God and people are well...people! lol

I gotto get up early tomorrow as the worship is at 8.00 am and I have no idea how I am going to get up at 6 and be able to keep my eyes open during the service! *sigh* ~~And if I dont go~~ ....(well thats not even an option I can think of)! Coz I cant survive one week without attending church!

huh :(

---------------------------------
18/10/09

I did wake up at 7.30 and managed to attend the service! And feeling good about it too!!
Praise God!:D

Why did the chicken cross the road??

2009-10-14T19:07:00.000+05:30

Email forwards are one thing I like to skip when I read my mails, they are quite repetitive and boring (and lengthy!!).But once in a whileI do find a few mails that are worth reading.
This e-mail forward I received from my friend is really funny...check it out!Some of the answers are a lil boring but some are really funny.

The question asked was ..

Why did the chicken cross the road?

And following are the answers given by the people who were asked this question.

KINDERGARTEN BOY
To get to the other side.

PLATO
For the greater good.

ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.

KARL MARX
It was a historical inevitability.

TIMOTHY LEARY
Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take.

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

HIPPOCRATES
Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

RICHARD M. NIXON
The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.

MACHIAVELLI
The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.

BILL GATES
The newly released Chicken 2003, will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.

DARWIN
Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.

EINSTEIN
Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference and relativity.

GEORGE BUSH
We are committed to establishing a democracy where chickens freely cross roads without oppression from terrorist organizations.

Azharuddin
I am totally innocent, you know, I'm unnecessarily being dragged into this, you know, because I'm from the minority.... . I neither know the chicken nor the road, you know....

Answers by our very own ministers!

George Fernandes
I am deeply hurt that this question is being asked after my 40 clean years of public life. I don't own a house, or a car, leave alone a chicken !!!

Mulayam
I demand a 50% reservation of the road for the chicken class, so that they can cross the road freely without their motives being questioned

Advani
I see Pakistani hand in this ...

Bal Thackarey
Chickens crossing the roads is against our culture, my followers will stone all such chickens which cross the road.

Jayalalithaa
From reliable sources I've got the information that the chicken belongs to Karunanidhi. He is making his chicken cross the road to create law & order problems. The chicken has now been imprisoned under POTA.

Amitabh Bachhan
The chicken has crossed the road?.. Are you sure.. Very sure ... Really sure...

Venkaiah Naidu
"We are very sure of the fact that the chicken did not cross the road. It's a conspiracy by the congress. The poor chicken has been made a scapegoat in this whole issue"

H.S.Surjeet
We are adopting a wait and watch policy. We have convened a meeting of the third front today. We will decide the future course of action after the chicken comes back..

Maneka Gandhi
Chicken crossed the road alone...!! If a vehicle had passed over it, we would have lost one of our dearest creatures. Ban all vehicles from using the road. Protect our chickens...

Laloo Prasad Yadav
I have introduced CHICKEN RATH, a special train for chicken so that they don’t have to cross the road.

Inzaman Ul Haq
It was a team effort, all the boys played really well, specially Afridi.

If it were not for Him...who knows where I would be today..

2009-10-12T00:46:00.000+05:30

These days I barely login to my orkut account.I mostly check my scraps when my friend(/sister) Sungeeta Jain writes to me. Yesterday, as I was posting a reply in her scrapbook, I saw a really depressed picture in the profile of one of her friends. Its so hard to see snaps and profiles like these.With so much pain and so much hurt...

I had been there too.For almost six years I couldn't find an escape route out of the depression.I still remember those days with display pictures of an emo, a girl hurting herself,the suicide notes,the frustrated status updates.

It hurts a lot to see people in so much of pain- your own relatives, your own friends sometimes...
And if that is not enough, every time you go out on streets, you see the agony and suffering in the eyes of the poor. No food to eat, having to beg for a living, no clothes to wear, living in tents that might be uprooted at the next moment, no shelter from the rain...the list is endless.

What's even worse, is to see people who work so hard and yet barely earn anything.
The other day,I went to a cobbler to get my torn slippers stitched and I stood there wondering how much he must be earning per day.Maybe 20 bucks? or maybe 50...

Just makes me want to thank God for all that I have.If it were not for Him...who knows where I would be today..

Being single...being happy!

2009-10-07T20:23:00.000+05:30

Can you ever forget your first date?? ever? (And that too when it was such a nightmare??..lol)

Three years ago, I had such an experience of going out with a guy ( who was totally out of my league :P) I would not like to disclose here as to how we met and how it all started.Its a long story and an unbelievable one too. Yes, almost all my friends gasped at my daring act! I had asked him out ...LOL.Considering how shy I am, it was certainly not something I could do but then we all know how teens behave when they 'fall in "love"'.

Anyways...the date ended on a sad note.I never phoned the guy again (except for the last message I sent him that night) and neither did he call.So it was over at the first date itself!
But I had made up in my mind that I wouldn't have bitter feelings for him and that the next time we happen to bump into one another some day I'd be courteous enough to smile.

This Sunday evening as I was going for my classes, I saw the guy for the first time after that day.As I looked at him. at first, I didn't 'immediately recognize him.

'His face looks familiar' (I thought).

At the second glance I realized that it was the same guy. Our eyes met for the first time after three years...
He looked at me twice but didn't respond(except for that quick look in the other direction after having seen me come)

Standing close to him was another friend of mine...who recognized me and turned to talk to me.But I ignored her as she was beside him and I thought it would get awkward.Everything happend so quick that there was no time to react and the only thing I could think of doing at that moment was walk away as fast as possible.

I kept thinking about the whole incident the entire day.
How painful it was to be dumped by someone at the first date itself.And how silly it seemed today.
The incident that hurt me one time seems so kiddish now!! :P

I am just happy that I am not with the wrong guy.OR any guy for that matter. I am so happy being single and love my life so much today.

I used to be a sucker for relationships at one point of time in my life.But I am so content not being in a relationship.

I just wonder what life would be like if I had been with those guys I thought were right but weren't the right ones for me and I feel so happy at that fact that I am not with them.
Being alone is so much better than being with the wrong people.
(No offense to anyone...they weren't bad, but just not right for me)

Everything happens for the best :D

PS. I am not against relationships and its not like I don't want to be in one someday....its just that singledom rocks!! \m/

A letter to God....

2009-10-02T20:15:00.000+05:30

Dear God,

All my life, I've been chasing people and clinging to them, hoping that they'd stay back for me.I've cared for people and it felt like they never cared for me enough.Maybe its just coz I expect too much out of people and I should stop it now.

Most of the years of my life were spent brooding about people who never reciprocated my feelings. Some of them didn't even know that I exist!! And yet I had been foolishly running behind them while they walked on, hoping to get noticed, hoping that for once they'd turn behind and see me.That for once they'll hear me.

But they didn't.

And I, after running for miles behind them, ran out of breath and gave up.All I could see then was them walking away.

Why?Why did they never turn behind? Why did I waste my time over people who weren't meant for me?

Today, I ask you to take away every person from me, who isn't right for me.Who knowingly/unknowingly hurts me.Help me to forgive them and forget them.Stop me from ruining my life over thoughts that ,in the end, ruin my life.
I am tired Lord, I am tired...

.....................................

And just two days after I wrote this letter, I got an immediate reply(yea I guess HE sent it via speed post! ;))

I feel like my burden has been taken away.I've stopped bothering about people who don't care if I exist.Like I've been set free of this chain of emotions that bound me so tightly.

Life is too beautiful to waste over people who wouldn't care for you.There are so many others who deserve your attention more.And who are worth it.

I am glad that I've learned to detach myself from people and emotions that had been occupying a lot of space in my mind and heart.

"Cast Your Burden Upon Me. Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest."
- Mat 11:28-29

So true...

I know it was YOU my Lord!! I know it was you!

2009-09-25T15:10:00.001+05:30

There are some days when you have to do things that you know would hurt you.Things that would take you on a (bumpy) emotional ride.But these things are sometimes inevitable, things that you ought to do.

Today was one such day for me.Before I went ahead and faced the situation, I prayed in my heart to God to keep me from getting hurt this time.

As I proceeded with it I knew what was coming my way.I had a feeling that as it usually turns out I would be left with a sense of loss.
I could see the devil waiting for me laying his trap.But I went ahead anyway and said 'Let thy will be done'. And as I faced this thing, a friend (who I barely even talk to) buzzed. All the while that I was dealing with this (lets call it 'situation x'), my friend kept on talking to me and diverted my mind.The moment I was back to facing my situation x and started worrying about it , this friend wrote to me something or the other.

And in the end I was so occupied with our conversation that my dreaded situation x failed to trouble me! I was like "ok, if that is what is God wants, so be it!" And I was too happy to be talking to this friend to be worrying about anything else.

But moments later after the conversation, I wondered how I had coasted through the situation without it even affecting me.And I suddenly remembered the last sentence my friend wrote to me....he wrote... 'God bless you'

And indeed He had blessed me!It was God who sent my friend to divert my mind! It was God who kept me from falling into the trap!

God finds amazing ways to bless you and help you deal with situations.He has his angels scattered everywhere!!

So today, I want to thank You Lord for being that friend!!

Watch it people! God can bless you through anyone and anything! Keep your eyes open, He might be just around the corner somewhere!

You are my strength when I am weak
You are the treasure that I seek
You are my all in all
Seeking You as a precious jewel
Lord, to give up I'd be a fool
You are my all in all

Taking my sin, my cross, my shame
Rising up again I bless Your name
You are my all in all
When I fall down You pick me up
When I am dry You fill my cup
You are my all in all

Jesus, Lamb of God
Worthy is Your name
Jesus, Lamb of God
Worthy is Your name

You are my strength when I am weak
You are the treasure that I seek
You are my all in all
Seeking You as a precious jewel
Lord, to give up I'd be a fool
You are my all in all

Taking my sin, my cross, my shame
Rising up again I bless Your name
You are my all in all
When I fall down You pick me up
When I get dry You fill my cup
You are my all in all

Jesus, Lamb of God
Worthy is Your name
Jesus, Lamb of God
Worthy is Your name

Love it!

2009-09-23T20:17:00.000+05:30

Some songs just make you fall in love with them.I happened to listen to this song from the movie Coyote Ugly by LeAnn Rimes and I instantly liked it! I've been playing this song over and over (and over) again ever since I downloaded it and just cant get enough of the song!!
I just want to keep on listening to it.No doubt I am going to be bored of this song soon since I listen to it so much but right now I am just enjoying it while it while my love for the song lasts ;)

I dont like to be alone in the night
And I dont like to hear Im wrong when Im right
And I dont like to have the rain on my shoe
But I do love you, but I do love you

I dont like to see the sky painted gray
And I dont like when nothings going my way
And I dont like to be the one with the blues
But I do love you, but I do love you

Love everything about the way youre loving me
The way you lay your head
Upon my shoulder when you sleep
And I love to kiss you in the rain
I love everything you do, oh I do

I dont like to turn the radio on
Just to find I missed my favorite song
And I dont like to be the last with the news
But I do love you, but I do love you

Love everything about the way youre loving me
The way you lay your head
Upon my shoulder when you sleep
And I love to kiss you in the rain
I love everything you do, oh I do

And I dont like to be alone in the night
And I dont like to hear Im wrong when Im right
And I dont like to have the rain on my shoes
But I do love you but I do love you
But I do love you but I do love you

Jane's faith :)

2009-09-14T12:45:00.000+05:30

Yesterday during the worship at church, the Pastor shared a really sweet and beautiful message that put a smile on everyone's face.Not only that, it made everyone realize about the kind of faith children have in God.The Pastor was talking about how we enter into temptations and what we ought to do when that happens.

The story goes like this..

There was little girl called Jane.Her Sunday school teacher asked her, 'Jane, what would you do when the devil knocks on your door (when you are being tempted by the devil) ??'

To this the li'l girl said...'When the devil knocks at my door, I will ask Jesus to open the door!!!'

How cool an answer is that! Its like when you know there's some stranger at your door (who you know can harm you), you let your Father deal with it!

The story is so short and sweet.But Jane's response says so much.Children are so innocent. They know that their Daddy is the strongest!When we adults can sometimes stumble in our faith and lose hope, children in fact cling on to their faith so blindly!
I think we need to learn something from them.

This reminded me of a message shared by my very dear friend ,Sungeeta Jain(who is almost like a sister to me) about the faith that children have.

Child like Faith

The book seller at the station...

2009-09-11T22:07:00.000+05:30

"Sixty rupees ka ek..sixty rupees ka ek....sidney sheldon...twilight...sixty rupees ka ek....sixty rupees ka ek..."
A little boy entered the ladies compartment with a pile of novels in his hand.The train was about to leave in about 5 minutes.

I asked this kid for 'Twilight' for one of my friends (I wonder what's the big deal about the book!!?).Now, it happened that he didn't have the book with him then and so he said...

"Madam aapko twilight chaiye??...leke aata hun"

And he got off the train and rushed to get the book for me.When he returned with the book, I realized that my friend had asked me to get 'Breaking dawn'(the newest version).

Me: "Actually mujhe 'Breaking dawn''' chaiye tha"

"woh 200 ka hai.."

Me : 'Eclipse' hain?

"nai madam woh toh nai hai..."
I didn't want to buy the book for 200 bucks so after a li'l bargaining,I told him that I didn't want the book.

It felt bad to see him go away without making a sale.At least he wasn't begging.He was earning money by the right means,by working hard.
The effort he put in, in getting the book from somewhere else was something worth admiring.

When he left, me and my friends were so touched by this incident and felt so pity for the kid.We wished we had bought something from him.But we didn't want to spend money on something we wouldn't use.

Sometimes when I see people who aren't so privileged as I am to have all the luxuries of life, I feel so grateful that God has given me so much.Leave alone luxuries these people sometimes even spend days without food.
But for me, God has blessed me with more than enough, more than I had ever asked for.And I really need to thank God for it.

As the boy left, I prayed for him in my heart.I prayed that he finds not just one but two customers for twilight!! And I am sure God must have given him lots of customers today :)

The one thing I would do if I could turn back time....

2009-09-07T22:00:00.000+05:30

I always loved sketching when I was a kid.Although I was never very good at painting,I loved to draw.I think my knack for drawing was kind of hereditary.My father has great drawing skills.
He would always complete my brother's drawing assignments in school but not for me.Because I loved doing them myself.
That was my favorite hobby.Whenever I'd get time I'd sketch a picture.

I never took drawing lessons because I was too lazy to attend drawing classes neither did I give those elementary exams.

Today, if I could turn back time and do one thing, I would like to take art lessons.I wish I could learn to paint well which I still haven't been able to do and barely get time for.

When I passed my 10th class I wished to take up arts.But didn't have the guts to follow me heart.I didn't want to take a risk.I was so confused while making the choice of a course that I ended up jumping the engineering bandwagon in the end.

Since the past few days, an image of the sky and stars on a canvas has been flashing in front of my eyes.And I am having this desire to pick up a paint brush and start painting the picture!!!

Why does it always rain on me?

2009-09-02T18:53:00.000+05:30

The four months of monsoon are the ones I dread the most every year.I have this thing about rains since a long time now.I feel so so gloomy during the monsoons and the rains make me sick all the time.I know its quite normal when the gloominess in the atmosphere makes you feel a little low.But every day and everytime???!!

Every year as the month of June begins, I pray that September comes fast! The darkness all day round just makes me so cranky.

And the rains find such great pleasure in turning my day into a nightmare that it starts to pour the moment I step out of my house!!!Arggghhh I sooo hate rains.

But this post is not about rains..literally.

Its been raining on and off in my life lately.And even if it hasnt...the clouds have been around for quite some time now. Some things just dont feel right.I've become like a turtle that draws its head into its shell - not wanting to talk to anyone, trying hard to smile when I am not really happy,saying I am alright when I am not,dragging myself to places where I dont feel like going and doing things just for the heck of it.

Something doesnt feel right..

As if some dementor just sucked out all the happiness out of my life.As if someone just erased out the word 'fun'..'joy' out of my life's dictionary.

I can't sleep tonight

Everybody saying everything's alright

Still I can't close my eyes
I'm seeing a tunnel at the end of all these lights

Sunny days
Where have you gone?
I get the strangest feeling you belong
Why does it always rain on me?
Is it because I lied when I was seventeen?
Why does it always rain on me?
Even when the sun is shining
I can't avoid the lightning

-Travis

Speed Dial 1......Calling..God

2009-08-29T15:35:00.000+05:30

Often when we get into troubles or when we face those wobbly moments in our lives, we tend to panic and run helter skelter for help.At least that is what I do many a times.

The impulsive freak that I am,I tend to do things without even thinking

before doing them.

I call up every possible friend (by that I meant close ones) on my phone book and ask him/her to pray for me.

Later when things calm down, I wonder where my faith was, when I asked someone else to pray for me and why I didnt pray myself first! Is it that God listens to someone else's prayers and not mine? Of course not. Its just that I failed to trust Him enough and have faith in my prayer.

I realised that before asking outside for help, we need to look inside for it.For within you rests He, who is greater than any power on this earth!It is not wrong to ask someone to pray for you coz I believe there are times in one's life when the faith is so low that one doesnt feel like praying.But its just that you need to pray to Him first and learn to believe in your prayer.

So now when I know that I am caught up in a mess and dont know how to get out of it, I look to Him before I dial anyone's no. asking for help.

Because He said..'I am the one that healeth thee'....'Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest..'

And trust me it always works!Always! Because God wants us to look to Him as our friend.He wants to listen to us talk to Him.He wants us to put our trust in Him first!

Is God on your speed dial no. 1?? If not make the change today and rest assured that He will answer your call.

He will love it ;) and so will you!!

The man from Chennai...

2009-08-27T02:07:00.000+05:30

I was going through my old blog and I found this post.Everytime I think of this incident and I look at the face of this man...the only thought that comes to my mind is... 'Lord bless this man'
...

Friday, January 11,2008

A few good men...

On our recent visit to Chennai (which was amazing by the way),my friends and I came across a bunch of incredibly modest people.These blokes weren't the ones with high posts but they took pride in the job they did-they served us food at the dinning hall.They wore a pleasant smile on their faces that never seemed to fade away.Just a few words-"good morning madam","How is the food?"-and that was enough to make us feel at home.
There was however this one person who stood out amongst those people.Trust me, I have never seen a man so humble as he was.His job was to collect our plates when we finished having our meals at the table.We never had to tell this man to pick up our plates.As soon as we finished eating,he would be standing right there before us,all ready to do his job,with a really warm smile on his face.If ever we got up to dispose off the plates all by ourselves and he was around the corner,he would take the plate from our hands and wouldn't let us take the trouble.

I felt a deep respect for this person.I mean who on this earth wouldn't?How many people who we know do their job with such dignity...no matter how small or big the job is?

We(me and my friends) wanted to help this person from the bottom of our hearts.So, we contributed some money to help this man out....but he refused to take it.

When we were about to leave in the bus...these people(I earlier mentioned about) were standing at the gate to see us off..and amidst them this old man clearly stood out.He was standing there..with his trademark smile.When the bus started moving..he bade us goodbye...by waving his hand (he knew we would not understand his language).

At that moment..I seriously wished that I could help him.But I guess the only thing I could do was bless this man from the core of my heart and only hope that there be more people like him in this world of ours.

Whosoever this man was,may God bless him...

Everytime I think of this incident I just wish I could go back to Chennai and tell this humble man what a great job he was doing and how much we appreciated his modesty.

And everytime I look at him my heart just melts out of sympathy...dont know why.

Take me away...somewhere far away....

2009-08-13T22:33:00.000+05:30

I always like Vodafone ads...be it the the ones with the pug and the little girl, the zoo zoo ads or the recent one(record your busy tone if you cant take calls)
But I love this one ad in particular, where the guy waits in the lift for the girl.And I love the song that plays in the background...

"Blue skies and open air
There's a place for us away
Take me away somewhere far away
Beyond the sun
Take me away somewhere far away..."

That's how I exactly feel right now.Just want to go away somewhere.(Beyond the sun would also do or maybe on the moon...or the rainbow....if possible!)Not becuase I hate my life where I am!Of course not!But just feels like travelling to a different place.Discover new cultures and meet new people and just be a free bird!
Anyway...check out the video if you havent already seen it....
(And if anyone knows where I can find the entire song, do let me know.)

I am lovin' it!!

2009-07-31T18:24:00.000+05:30

Today,I bought the first book for this semester and I am so excited to read it! Its about Information Security in computing (that's my favorite subject along with Mobile Computing and Computer Networks).I've always been interested in networking and internet security. Now, I was so excited, that I started flipping through the pages of the book while traveling back home in the train itself!! I've never (in the past seven years) been so excited about my studies!

There was this time when I would top in my class and I absolutely loved my textbooks(basically I was a book worm:P).And then there was a phase after that, when everything went downhill.I remember telling my friend once, ' I just feel like tearing away my books and throwing them all away!' . My friends and teachers kept asking me...'What's wrong?Why aren't you studying??'.

Some time back, there was this professor in my college, who after looking at the drop in my grades since I passed out of school said to me, "What happened?Why are your grades dropping?..."After a long pause when I didn't answer him and just kept looking at the floor he said,"Never mind,looking at your SSC percentage I can surely say that you are more than an average student...I am sure you can do better."

I had nothing to say...I had no excuse, no reason as to why I didn't feel like studying.I was clueless as to what was going wrong.

And here I am today, just dying to get back to my books!!I am like the geek who, in school, would have her hand raised to every question asked in the class(Hermione Granger types!)...like the girl who loved her studies, who loved to read, who loved her books!! Yay!
Wow! Life is changing!!

Praise God!:D

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound, That saved a wretch like me. I once was lost but now am found, Was blind, but now I see...

2009-07-27T15:50:00.000+05:30

Last night as I sat down to read the bible, after reading a few verses of the gospel of Luke, I reached my most favorite verse..."For nothing is impossible with God."(Luke 1:37)
But I couldn't read beyond that verse.My mind went down the memory lane and I could recollect all of the amazing things that have happened to me over the past one year.

I thought about how God had turned the impossible into reality....

I realized how I am no one without Him...

It took Him just one day to change my life!And He taught me to love people.He taught me to accept people as they are and not judge them.More than anything else, He taught me to forgive people.

He picked me up from the rut that I was into for years and brought me here, where life is so beautiful!

And as my mind was drifting through these sweet memories...the song Amazing grace popped up in my head.And the song really struck a chord with me....

"Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.

T'was Grace that taught my heart to fear.
And Grace, my fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear
The hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come;
'Tis Grace that brought me safe thus far
and Grace will lead me home.

The Lord has promised good to me.
His word my hope secures.
He will my shield and portion be,
As long as life endures.

Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease,
I shall possess within the veil,
A life of joy and peace.

When we've been here ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun.
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Than when we've first begun."

The song brought tears to my eyes and I couldn't thank God enough for what He has done for me and how much He loves me!

I remember that once a friend had told me about a word he had coined:P ....'G.L.I.P.'....God's Love Is Perfect!!
And although it was about a year ago that he told me this, its only in the past few months that I have come to believe how true this is!!

Nothing can beat His love!Nothing!

Smelly hands, smelllly hands...its all their fault!!:P

2009-07-23T20:11:00.000+05:30

My hand is smelling with a mixture of perfumes right now! Reason? We dropped by at Archies today as my friends had to buy some stuff and there my friends used my hands as a tester for perfumes! lol!! It took my friend a good half an hour to finally make up her mind over which perfume to buy.

H (to D) : I bought this perfume for xyz (her ex boyfriend)once.It smells really good(smiling).
Me: Ohkay, so buy your boyfriend a perfume you would like to smell!....smart!(I'll remember that ;)....hehe)
D: yeah!

So while they tried the deodorants and perfumes, I stood there smelling my hands as they sprayed the perfumes on them!hehe..And even after having washed my hands many times after I came home, I can still smell the perfume!But I wonder why then does the scent not last that long when you spray it on your clothes?!I mean, you wear the perfume before you leave your home and in less than an hour or so its gone already!!Strange.

Anyway....I am loving the scent!!;):D

My first experience at fainting! lol

2009-07-21T20:46:00.000+05:30

(At the end of the post you'll realise how bored I am to write some silly thing like this!lol)

I always wondered how it felt like when one fainted.How people just lose control of themselves.Not like I was interested in experiencing it!But was always curious to find out.

And well, I did find out for the first time in 21 years what it is like to faint! Today for a change I woke up early to go to college.I was unwell from the past few days but ignored it thinking it would just get better all by itself as it always.But this time it took a toll on me.While getting ready for college,I passed out. I became unconscious almost for a minute.And for that moment, although I was still a lil in my senses, I didn't know what I was doing!Thankfully all this happened while my parents were at home!They picked me up and lead me to the bed but I still couldn't breath.For that one hour I thought I would just die and my parents were totally freaked out!
Mom gave me all kinds of home made medicines and my stomach was full of a cocktail of these medicines!lol

But after that one hour every thing calmed down like nothing never happened!!I could get up and walk as I had something to eat.But then yet again I missed college and was at home all day sleeping and basically doing nothing!

But this was the first time I fainted and absolutely lost control of myself!So now I know what it feels like to faint!lol

PS.
(My father just came home and he's smiling at me!..."I am smiling now but you scared the hell out of me girl!") Love my parents...they just pamper me so much!...hehe

Revisting..."will they ever??"

2009-07-20T21:58:00.000+05:30

Just feel like well...re- posting this today. I posted some time last year.I guess I am going through this retrograde phase right now, as always...

Will they ever learn to compromise?

Will they ever walk hand in hand?

Will they ever make peace?

Will their tastes ever match?

Will they ever become one?

Will they stop fighting for once?

Will they ever let me live??

Wondering what i am talking about? Well...'they' are my brain and my heart! They are like these two different people living in one person’s body. Confused??...so am I. Confused, confused and forever confused! They just keep fighting each other. One saying....'Do it!'....the other yelling louder 'you fool! Don’t you dare!'...The heart is this little kid which has no reasons. It just wants what it likes, not caring if it’s good or bad. It simply wants what it wants, case closed. And the bossy brain that considers itself intelligent and experienced, always overpowers the heart. The heart, like a little kid, wanders, hurts itself and gets into trouble all the time. And when it’s broken and sad....it is comforted by the same bossy brain.

When this little heart is blinded by emotions....it’s the brain that shows it the way. Yet they fight like enemies sometimes. I never understand why? They make life hell for me sometimes and then sometimes it’s they who inspire me to move on and live. They always make it difficult for me to make a choice, to pick a color, to decide what’s right what’s not, who’s good and who’s bad....They are just poles apart. When I follow my brain I know my heart is not satisfied and when I go with the latter, I know I'll regret not having heard my brain. Still they make 'ME' what I am. How do I ever understand them? just how?

But I’ve realized that somethings are just not meant to be understood or changed. So I let them be who they are. I know they drive me crazy....sometimes completely insane. But the do so, only for me.

The original post

Disconnected:Day 5

2009-07-18T12:14:00.000+05:30

Its been a good 5 days away from social networking sites.I had decided to carry on for 2-3 weeks.But it seems tough and I had almost given up once.

I messaged my friend "hey pleeeeeease pleeeease give me my fb password :("
I was surprised when she gave away the password so easily.I was like...'Are you nuts?? You are supposed to discourage me!!' Nevertheless, I tried logging in and realized that she had fooled me by giving a fake password!(which was a good job that she did)

She wrote back, "I promised my friend that I would help her get rid of her habit and so I can't give you the password..I have no intentions of doing so no matter what you do :P !!"

Every time I feel tempted I keep assuring myself..'Just a few more days, dont give up!' lol

And as a matter of fact after that day, I never felt the urge to login to my facebook or orkut accounts coz I never had the time for it.Since college started I've been regularly attending lectures and trust me so far they've been really fun.Some genuinely interesting and some genuinely funny!lol...

Bottomline: So far so good!! :)

Disconnected from the virtual world: Day 1 update

2009-07-15T11:02:00.000+05:30

After a long thought over how to break my addiction to the internet, I finally found a solution.

I needed a break from the world of status updates, profiles,scraps and applications.But with nothing to do at home I couldn't help but connect to the internet after every two hours or so.And once I sit at my computer I don't get up for at least two hours(well mostly).

I realized as long as I had my passwords with me I was always going to use my facebook ,orkut , gtalk and ymail accounts no matter how determined I was to stay away from them!So what to do? Delete these accounts as I did twice before because of the same problem??No way!!

So, here's what I did.I asked one of my friends to change all my passwords.And told her not to reveal them to me atleast for a week.To this she said...'have you gone mad?....kuch bhi karne ko bol rahi hai!'
I told her that if she didn't do this for me I would surely go mad!lol
Its been affecting my studies too and this being my last year I really need to focus on other things instead of just wasting my time browsing useless sites.
And so far, it has been good.I didnt login to any of my accounts for an entire day!(I am trying to recollect when was the last time I did this)I do have my blogger password so that at least I can blog and the password to one of my gmail accounts which she forgot to change!:P
So now the only web sites I visit are crosswalk,deviantart,blogger,gmail, and a few others.

When I was away from the internet this is what I did(in case you are interested to read further:P)

Yesterday went to college(yeah it's started finally!!) and trust me this time I was more than happy to attend lectures! After attending one lecture(and the only one) we made a move to the 'Prithvi Cafe' in Juhu.Yes, even in the heavy rains.
We sat there chatting and watching the downpour of rain and watching theatre actors discussing scripts and dialogues over coffee.Among them were Ratna Pathak shah(of Sarabhai fame), Makrand Deshpande(of Swades fame) and a few other theatre personalities.
Everytime someone entered, our heads would immediately turn in the direction of the entrance and we would be like...'arre have you watched this blah blah movie??...yeh usme tha...', 'arre ye to woh hai yar....koi toh serial mein aata hai...'lol

Me and Shar had 'Hot chocolate' that tasted nothing better than bournvita!!But the 'Gooey chocolate brownie' that two of my other friends ordered, tasted amazing!!Food was good but not all that great.What I liked about the place was the ambience(it was beautiful) and the decor.There were seats made of wood and stone and the place had a tarpaulin stretched over bamboo sticks because of the rains.Its a good place to sit and chill.

So after an hour or so, we left the place splashing water on each other and getting drenched just like school days!

All in all it was fun!But today the college is closed(Again!!!) and I have nothing to do!

So here I am writing a lengthy post(cant help if you are bored reading this:P) and wondering what to do the whole day.I've got a lot of things to do but not really in a mood to do them.Guess I'll read the Bible (which seems the best option), or finish off 'Doctors', or maybe clean the house, or just watch the tv...
*yawns*

God is a musician! And He's a poet too!!

2009-07-13T02:26:00.000+05:30

"God please don't let me forget the words before I reach there!"

This was the first thought as I got up from the bed at 1.00 am in the morning to reach for my laptop.Yep, I wanted to note down the words in my mind that had appeared out of nowhere while I lay brooding over things.

Lately, things haven't been too good as far as faith is concerned.A person's spiritual life,in my opinion, is like a ship sailing in an ocean.Sometimes it shakes violently amidst storm and at times its smooth sailing while we enjoy the view of the sun setting at the horizon of the ocean.
I guess its bound to be that way .Anyway, personally, I've been struggling to hang on to my faith while things seemed so difficult.

But the bible says "and this too shall pass..."

Every time I am down.I try to listen to what God is trying to say.And most often than not His words end up into a poem or a song!
I remember, most of the poems I have written in the past few months about my faith are words that actually come from Him!
Also every time I listen to some music (and it doesn't have to be a song with lyrics, it can be just a tune sometimes) I can imagine God standing right in front of me!
And all the fears are gone! Plus, I keep my mind occupied and avoiding any depressing thoughts.

God finds a way to lift up my spirits through music and poetry all the time!!Every random melody I hum comes from Him! And its the not like I am writing the poem.Its actually Him who writes it!!

The poem I wrote....err...sorry He wrote!;)

(picture1:www.deviantart.com)

(picture2:www.deviantart.com)

The man in the mirror...

2009-07-08T11:07:00.000+05:30

I haven't listened to many of Mj's songs,mainly because I wasn't a music buff when I was growing up that I have become in the past five years. But I always liked 'heal the world', 'black or white' and 'they don't care about us'.

I watched the Michael Jackson memorial yesterday on CNN and the Mj special on many other channels and downloaded his songs.And ever since I downloaded them I haven't stop listening to them!!
It wouldn't be wrong to say Jackson earned more fame when he died than when he was alive.He started his career at 10 years of and shot to fame with his album Thriller.But then, as is the case with most celebrities, he was caught in lot of controversies specially the child sexual abuse in 1993(in which he was acquitted) .
In the last few years he had almost started to look like a skinny ghost!!

Nevertheless, his songs will always remain a hit with people for ages to come!Also his 'moonwalk' and his spinning and standing right on the toes will be remembered by all of his fans.
And he sure has earned one more fan!(me!!)

Life's like this!

2009-06-29T22:08:00.000+05:30

As I was looking out of the window, I saw a cute li'l girl sticking her head out of the car window and enjoying every moment of the ride.
I couldn't help but think how similar it was to our lives in general.

It feels great to experience the wind blowing your hair in your face and the tiny little raindrops touching your skin.
And then there are times when the sun starts to hurts your eyes.

Life's like this-sometimes sun, sometimes rain!

But the ride is great anyway!

Here without you buddy...

2009-06-26T02:00:00.000+05:30

After meeting my school buddies after almost three years, I returned home quite late.I had a great time with them! We ended up talking on the most talked about topic these days- relationships.After all, it all boils down to 'love'.

Anyway,I came home, had my dinner and was sitting at my study table...well not to study(of course not!).I had this strong urge to talk to someone.
I picked up my cell phone, stared at it for a while and put it down.I picked it up again, wondered who to call and then put it down again.I must have done that at least 15 times before coming to the conclusion that there was no one who I could actually talk to at that moment!

There are so many people who know you in your life.Some people just 'know' you, some others are close to you yet not so close that you can share your feelings with them, there are some others who are just for namesake and then there are those who were once your best friends(I know this my sound grammatically incorrect) but aren't the same anymore.

It just struck me then, 'Oh! I don't really have a best friend!'

(www.deviantart.com)

Life changed over the past one year and I wouldn't say people changed but its just that circumstances have changed.My best friend seems to have distanced herself(although not purposely) from me coz we don't share the same beliefs anymore.Yes, we talk and we help each other out, meet sometimes.But heck who am I kidding!? Things have changed!
And then there was someone -'the ping anytime and I'd be there' friend- who's moved so far away, quite literally.

It just felt like being alone in a crowd.

Then I had this conversation with God(in my head of course) and I kind of felt like He was saying...'I know your situation my child.But I am here for you, listening to every thing you have say'.

Yea,(I said to myself, smiling) I know You're there!

But deep down a little part of my heart wished if there was someone(apart from Him) who when I called understood what I felt and what I had to say even when I was silent.

She made my day!

2009-06-24T17:04:00.000+05:30

Yesterday, this cute li'l kitten followed my mom when she was coming back from work.She was sho sho cuuuuuuuttte!!! She saw a few bags in my mom's hand and she followed her up the stairs quietly, till she reached my house.She even tried to enter inside by trying to push her lil paws under the safety door! Poor little thing wanted to get in but only if I wasn't afraid of pets!(no matter of small they are!)
She was so innocent and tiny, that for once I wished I could keep her as a pet.But then I really cant hold these pets in my hand, they kind of freak me out.She really made my day, I was a bit bored in the evening as I had nothing to do.

Later, a few kids were playing with that cute lil kitten and giving her things to eat.It was so much fun to see her play with the kids!

Here's a picture I managed to take from inside my house(yes, I am too afraid of animals to go too close to them, they just look good from a distance).

Thinking of a title...

2009-06-23T16:08:00.000+05:30

So far, my vacation has turned out to be better than I thought it would.Firstly, I met all my friends who I hadnt seen in a long time and there are still a quite a lot of others I need to catch up with.Secondly, I went to my school after such a long time!It was nice being with friends from school and reminscing old memories, talking about how we were in school and where everyone is right now and how some even got married!!(that was the most shocking of all..lol)
But this week is turing out quite the opposite.I am here at home watching movies and staying indoors all the time.Besides I've got a really bad cold ...*sniff sniff* and its raining outside.It just feels like staying at home lazying cuddling up in bed and watching T.V.(That is so me!!)

I am not much of a fan of the rains(I dont like the gloomy skies) but this time, the weather was so unbearably hot that I am actually delighted at the arrival of the monsoon.

What's irritating though, is the fact that my internet connection becomes really slow during the rains!Arrgh, I hate that!Pages are taking too long to download on Mozilla but for a change Internet Explorer is faster.I am not an IE fan at all but I am left with no option but to surf the web using IE and Mozilla both.

So here I am blogging,sniffing and enjoying the view outside.
I'll leave you with a few pictures I took yesterday and today...
*sniff sniff*

okay, now my internet connection is not even letting me upload pictures...sheesh!

God is Good! All the time! ;)

2009-06-22T19:59:00.000+05:30

Sometimes life feels so beautiful! All I feel like doing is, look up to HIM and say, I love YOU for all that you've given me, for always and always being with me!

God is Good!! so so Good!(www.deviantart.com)

Books,labels, covers, toolbox and a lot more...

2009-06-15T00:51:00.000+05:30

It’s that time of the year again when schools reopen after a long vacation.

The other day I was passing by this book shop which was stormed by kids busy buying stationary for school. And soon enough I found myself taking a trip down memory lane.

Back in school, Dad would be busy putting covers on my brother's notebooks and sticking labels on them.I would sit with him while he did this(I was my father's special helper:)) and carefully observed him cut the cover sheets making measurements so that they fit the book perfectly.Then sticking the glue on the edges, he’d properly fold them and when he was done he’d stick the labels on the cover.The labels were those fancy cartoon labels with mickey mouse or Donald duck heads on them or sometimes even the simple plain ones.Dad would fill in the details on the label and stack the books one atop the other.

"This way, the cover gets properly glued to the book because of the pressure of the books above",he'd explain.Yep, there had to be an explanation for everything!

But this was the case only with my brothers books!He'd always give this work to my father.I covered my books on my own.I always wanted to do it the way my father did it.I would even try to copy his handwriting(which is awesome by the way) while filling in the label but it never came out that well!

(picture: www.deviantart.com)

Every time my dad was on his 'gadget fixing spree'(yea, he loved those) he knew who to call for help( that's me, in case you couldn't guess :P).While he was busy in his gadget fixing endeavors- which would go on sometimes late into the night-I'd sit right beside him (mom and my brother would be fast asleep by then) with the toolbox in my hand in case daddy dearest needed anyone of those tools. And while he was at it, he’d explain me how that gadget functioned or didn’t function for that matter. And I, like daddy’s li'l girl, would nod along to all that he said.

Dad and me are like peas in a pod, we get along well(except for a few times).In my house, we both are always in one 'team'! :)

I miss those old days sometimes....wish I was a kid again.As we grow old, we seem to go away from our parents.We get busy with our lives and they, with their own.But no matter how old we become and take them for granted sometimes, they never forget us.They remember every little thing about us and try to keep us happy all the time.

I thank God for my beautiful parents!

(This post is for my dad, who celebrated his birthday a few weeks back.)

Corrupted!

2009-06-10T18:23:00.000+05:30

I had planned to watch as many movies as possible during the vacation and guess what?Some freakin' virus has corrupted my pen drive and all 7GB worth of data is down the drain!!

Having scanned the pd for viruses (found around 40 of them!) , when I opened it, to my surprise all the folders were gone!!Only the files were visible.Apparently the virus was transferred from one of my friend's laptop into the pen drive.The 'properties' indicate that 7GB of memory is still being used and only 134MB is free meaning the virus has hidden all the folders and the folders are not visible even if I click one the 'show hidden folders' option.

Formatting the pd will mean losing all the data permanently which I don't want!:(
But I guess that's the only option. *sob sob*

I hate viruses!

Vacation time!! :D

2009-06-09T17:12:00.000+05:30

Now that all my exams and project submission is over I am finally,officially, on a vacation!!!And this time its for a month, which is quite rare.

This time around, I have decided I am not letting myself get bored by sitting at home and doing nothing at all.There are a lot of things to catch up on and loads of things to be done.So I am going to have to write them all done and finish them off before another hectic semester begins next month.

I used to waste months of vacations lazing at home simply eating and sleeping and staying at home.But after I entered engineering,I've come to know how important vacations are!I sometimes regret that the time I wasted before, could have been put to a better use in learning something or just doing something worthwhile, maybe something I like.

But hopefully this time I'll stick to my plans and make better use of the break that I've got.And the most difficult part of it all is not to put on extra kilos of (holiday) weight!I mean I can be a couch potato at times!

Anyway, come what may, I am going to enjoy my vacations to the fullest!!!

Somebody just stop me!

2009-06-03T21:11:00.000+05:30

(picture: www.deviantart.com)

Two of my biggest vices are my moodiness and impulsiveness.And these days these two things have been really starting to get to me.
The worst part is that my friends are at the receiving end of these crazy moods.And more often than not I ruin my own day due to my silly behavior.
One moment I am angry

switch....

the next moment I am happy..

switch...

the next moment I am sulking...

switch...

I am yellin' at someone

switch....

shutting myself away from people

switch...

The next moment I am dying to pour my heart out to someone

switch...

I am all excited for no reason and feelin' good

switch....

I lose my temper again!

.....and it continues..

And all this happens so quick that I really cant make sense of anything that happens.I feel guilty about the fact that others around me have to bear my cranky moods.And I cant help it 'coz I cant explain it myself!
I thought that the 'I am an Emo' phase was over long back but I guess its not gone yet.

So many thoughts just clog my mind at times that I want to tear my hair and say...STOP!

Sometimes wish my brain had an On/Off button!

E(xam)PL finally gettin' over!

2009-06-02T14:35:00.000+05:30

(picture: www.deviantart.com)

My exam is finally getting over tomorrow!Yay! Well not officially over though, coz we got to start working on our projects after that.There are just 4 days to develop a multiplayer game in java and we haven't even started with the coding! So we (three of us workin on the project) have to rack our brains for 4 days, find some professional help(which seems to be next to impossible...I am not saying impossible,trying to be positive!), spend long hours brainstorming and be up late cramming while we figure out ways to finally finish off this project.
Its interesting but then it'll be a difficult to wrap it up before the deadline.

Anyhow that is not dampening my excitement today!Coz tomorrow, after one and a half months of slogging,my (marathon) exam if finally getting over!That's reason enough for me to be happy!:D

And hey I found this really cute template(the current one) and couldnt help but use it for my blog.Let me know how it looks.

P.S.
Need some help with java coding, if anyone can help with the programming please do let me know.

Dreams...errr....nightmares!

2009-05-20T16:41:00.000+05:30

(picture:www.deviantart.com)

Lately I've been getting really weird dreams!And these dreams are so mixed up at times!Like the pieces of a jigsaw puzzles randomly put together so that they fit in.

Its normal to see people you meet quite often and people you interact with daily but someone appearing in your dream out of the blue, who you haven't met for months and haven't even talked to is kind of strange.

Like yesterday night I had this dream that I was standing on a bridge and as I looked down,I saw a ship(more like a line cruiser!) whose deck was flooded with water and lying there was a friend of mine with her hands tied behind and face flat on the deck.She wasn't moving at all.I tried calling one of our common friend to find out what was wrong.I couldn't go up to her as I had to rush to some place and was too busy!!

I mean this was my junior college friend who I am not so much in touch with these days.And the last we met was in march.And there was nothing related to her that had occurred during the day!It was so weird!

Yesterday, in the evening, I just got up all of a sudden, scared and worried (not even remembering what the dream was about) and ran towards the kitchen to check if my mom was there!!And I didn't even know what that was all about!!I was just relieved to see her.

Deciphering such dreams becomes so difficult at times because you don't know which of these dreams really mean something and which are mere riddles that your subconscious mind has created for you!

I guess I need some serious soul searching business to take care of to decode these nightmares!!

Just another great day at college

2009-05-14T19:49:00.000+05:30

Today was fun! We had this presentation in college and I met my friends after quite some time.We are so used to seeing each other every day- laughing, giggling, poking fun at each other that if I don't see my friends for a few weeks I miss them like crazy and I crave to meet them!So after this long gap when I saw them all together today I felt so freaking good!
I got to see the same smiling faces, to play those silly pranks, to laugh our asses off, and tease each other and try to screw each others lives...hehe.
I mean that really was like a breath of fresh air after such a long time!

The presentation went well(the professor looked like he'd almost fall asleep during the presentation after all those 30+ presentations..hehe....) and then we clicked pictures on my friends new iphone...which is like supercool!But the only problem is that it doesnt have a bluetooth which is a major major turn off!:P

Well one more thing I learnt today(a lil late I must say:P)....that I could surf the internet on my cellphone for a charge of 10 paise per 10kb which is pretty cheap!And the speed is good too! (God bless my friend kruti for this piece of useful info...hehe...I am so addicted!! )

bottom line...I had fun and was great to meet my friends after a long time!:D

Saying good bye...maybe...maybe not

2009-05-13T17:45:00.000+05:30

Wish I was here where I was last year this same time....

You wish you could go back in time and relive old memories.You life is beautiful, you are happy, you have everything but there's this one place in your heart which still yearns to be where you were yesterday- where you always loved to be.Some place very close to your heart.
But revisiting that place would bring everything else(that once was your past) back. You try hard to forget this past but still want to remember the good things about it.But with those sweet memories, your pain and wounds come back as well.

Nostalgia grips you so tight, like it'll never leave you.And you can do nothing but go back.Look at those memories, those people, those pictures.
Then a moment comes, when its time to leave again.To come back to the present...

(hehe...that's my cousin Akshay...i am missing him so much today..:(...)

(cute na?....i am missing them so much!!!)

Looking at those pictures you wonder if you'll ever get it back again- only and only the good part of those old memories.....

And then with a heavy heart you say goodbye.....

So say goodbye 'cause you'll be leaving soon
I know its's hard, and I'll be missing you
I know its time to say goodbye

I know the road, has worn you down
You never broke, you always held your ground
But now its time to say goodbye

And I know we'll meet again, but I wish It'd never end
You don't mean to make me cry
But it's so hard to say goodbye

Say goodbye
Say goodbye

And though you're gone I remember now
The time we shared, you're words still ring out
You're never far, you're in my heart

And I know we'll meet again, but I wish It'd never end
You don't mean to make me cry
But it's so hard to say goodbye

Ohhh, Ohhh
Say goodbye
Say goodbye

And I know we'll meet again, but I wish It'd never end
You don't mean to make me cry
But it's so hard to say goodbye

Someday we'll meet again 'cause thats how the story ends
Its so hard to say goodbye
Say goodbye

-Sanctus real

The thing to try when all else fails.....

2009-05-07T18:33:00.000+05:30

She returned home with heavy footsteps, wondering ‘Why am I doing this time and again to myself??’...Dragging her feet up to her home, all the while she wondered “What's my mistake in this??”

And then as she entered into the house all alone and tired, she sat down and looked around her with those empty eyes, seeking an answer....an answer that was long overdue. It all boiled down to this one question....”why??”

She shut her eyes and a tiny li’l tear trickled down her cheek. Another one followed soon, through the other eye. And in a hushed silence that surrounded her....someone spoke these words softly in her ears....

“There are times when quitting looks good, defeat inescapable and retreat the only option.

But what can seem impossible is often possible with courage.

So whatever difficulties you're facing today, draw on God's grace and keep trying. Mountains only seem so high from the valley. The road to success runs uphill; don't expect to break any speed records.

The thing to try when all else fails is begin again!!”

Her “why” was indeed not answered but she knew that the answer was perhaps just around the corner. A few steps away...or maybe a li’l further than that.But she’d know when she gets there. But for that she had to get up, try and....begin again.

She rose up, opened the windows and let the light in. And as a gentle breeze brushed her skin, her face erupted in a luminous smile...

:):)

read the entire message here...

(pic:www.deviantart.com)